There are things about life that I wish I could just get the answers to without waiting. Should I move there or stay here. Start this project, go after that job. The comings and goings of life can be so increasingly frustrating. I have no way of knowing where I will be 10 years from now. Not way to say that I will be doing this particular things 5 years from now. A year, a month. A lot of times I don’t even know what I am going to have for dinner tonight, let alone make a coherent plan for tomorrow.
(It’s spaghetti with meat sauce tonight…)
There was a time when this uncertainty crippled me. And it wasn’t that long ago. 6 months ago this not being able to figure out what the next day would bring was enough to destroy my day, put me in tears and just be unhappy about everything. This depression, this controlism, threatens everything. Eventually I just had to let go.
But it isn’t easy. There are days when I want to plan for every contingency. Where will my daughter want to go to college when she is 18? Will we still be living in the house we are in now, or will we have moved.
My daughter isn’t even two. To plan for where she will want to go to school when she is 18, something that is 16 years away is impossible. She may not even want to go to college! It doesn’t matter where we will live inn 2 years, 5 years or 10 for now we live here and since moving plans aren’t in our immediate future then why worry about it.
Its not that you cant plan for the future, you just have to stop obsessing over it. Stop trying to control it. Once you give-in to not pre-planning everything, that’s when the amazing happens.
I stopped looking for love – love found me (in the last place I would even consider looking for it)
I didn’t know what my passion was. I stopped chasing it and let it find me. In letting go I have found clarity, some patience, and most importantly happiness.
I still plan – its inherent in the way I was raised and avoidable with the kind of person I am. But I no longer try to control all aspects of change. Instead I try to let the situation mold me. The only thing I can truly plan is the next moment of my existence. Because in truth everything will come out as its meant to be once you stop fighting it.
I was able to let go because I was able to see what it was doing to me and my family. I surrounded myself with other positive people who helped me change and focus my thoughts in a positive and constructive manner. It is not easy, but without wanting to make that change myself it would have never happened.
How do you let go of the control that threatens to consume you? Do you have any advice for someone who just cant let go? We all benefit when you share your thoughts – please share them in the comments.
